Tuesday, June 25, 2024

An Open Letter To Women Who Shop Alone

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Shopping Safety Advice

Photo By Aris Sfakianakis

An open letter to all Stratford ladies who shop alone

My friends,

There has been a wave of purse snatching, car hijacking and other violent acts in Connecticut’s parking lots. Our freedom to shop safely is threatened.

Therefore, we need to unite and fight back.

The following is the first tactic thought by one brave woman. Keep reading and, hopefully, you’ll feel called to adapt the strategy:

  1. Keep your cards, money and keys in your pockets or a fanny pack hidden under your shirt.
  2. Wear the schmuckiest purse you can find and are happy to get rid off.
  3. Put one of the following notes in the empty purse, or compose your own version:

 

  1. God is watching you. Repent.
  2. Perhaps a decent day job will make you feel better?.
  3. Have you thought of your grandmother lately?
  4. What would Mama say?

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