Love is Love, Stratford, CT

By Colleen Hargrave
[email protected]

Interview by Barbara Heimlich, Editor, the Stratford Crier

• What was the driving force for you and others to start up Love Is Love in Stratford?

When my wife and I moved to Stratford we were surprised that there was no publicly visible social organizations for the LGBTQIA2S+ community here.  So many towns and cities around Connecticut had begun holding annual Pride celebrations.  We went to many events and felt community there, but not here—where we lived.  We understood that individuals in town had worked to encourage Mayor Hoydick to raise a Pride flag at Town Hall in 2019 for the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots and were excited to learn Stratford was among the first 29 communities that had a public flag raising in place by 2019.  However, there was no visible community presence, beyond the Stratford CT Pride Facebook Page.

So, in 2022, I founded a non-profit and organized a public Pride event table at the Paradise Green Farmers’ Market.  This was the first public Pride “event” held in Stratford during Pride month.  It was a great day and there was a lot of community support, but as the autumn came, the enthusiasm to continue with the organizational piece to sustain a public group faded.  

This June 2024, we celebrated the 5th anniversary of the Pride flag being raised at Stratford Town Hall.  When I read the comments on the town’s Facebook Page and on the Stratford Patch, I was disgusted and alarmed.  There were people who I KNEW, willing to voice vicious and hateful comments using their REAL names online.  The bold and purposeful bullying was way out of line.   

The admins of the Stratford CT Pride Page were also commenting on these posts and one ally was told to “take a bath with a toaster” because she was fighting back.  So, to fight ignorance and to create safe spaces, an alliance was born.  

We met in person, for the first time, on 6/2/2024.  We framed the path forward; with the understanding that this organization MUST have officers who were LGBTQIA2S+ individuals currently living in Stratford.  Our allies expressed to us that this was the only ethical way forward, and the reason the Stratford CT Pride Facebook Page never became an organization itself.  We began showing up, making friends, and supporting each other.

From there, a core group grew, as we held meetups throughout the month of June to celebrate Pride, refined our mission statement, advocated for the town’s first Pride Crosswalk, held a digital art show, volunteered to paint a town mural, attended local events, collected donations for school supplies, and began organizing to take action for good in our town—the rest is history which you can view archived on our Facebook Page Love is Love Stratford CT.  

In less than 90 days, we have created a movement.  By being public and visible, we create safe spaces in all places in town for members of the LGBTQIA2S+ community— and we aren’t going anywhere. 

• What is your mission?

Love is Love Stratford CT is a registered nonprofit organization 501(c)(3) that empowers, supports, and uplifts the LGBTQIA2S+ community in Stratford, Connecticut.

• What is your vision of the group?

Our vision is to create, support, and advocate for a safe, inclusive, and affirming community where individuals of all sexual orientations and gender identities can thrive in Stratford!

• Are all age groups welcome?

Love is Love Stratford CT is an organization run by adults who currently reside in Stratford.  We welcome all single people, married people, and families.  Our social events are geared toward building community and creating safe spaces where the LGBTQIA2S+ community and their allies can foster and sustain healthy relationships.  Whether hanging out at the beach, going on a trail hike, or going for pizza, we are all about building connections and ensuring safe spaces in Stratford for all LGBTQIA2S+ people.

We are a resource for young adults, but we trust that the high school Gay Straight Alliances, Stratford Community Services, Sterling House, and our Stratford Library will continue to provide appropriate support and social activities for LGBTQIA2S+ young people under 18 years old.  We hope to possibly partner with them in the future on these events, when appropriate.  

However, we do have very engaged and active older adolescents who are volunteering their time in preparation for the next step after high school already.  Our young people learn to advocate and be allies in high school GSAs, but if there is no functional adult organization to transition to after high school, that energy can be lost.

After graduation, many young people in Stratford go off to live at college, but many also stay local, entering the workforce or commuting to local colleges and universities.  We want to be an organization in town that gives young adults (18+) a place to express themselves and their talents.  We want to be a group of supportive adults who say, “Yes” to their awesome ideas and celebrate them for the individuals they chose to be as LGBTQIA2S+ adults living in Stratford.  

It is no secret that 18-24 year olds (especially males) are the most underserved population in Stratford.  It was highlighted in the Strategic Plan written before the new Stratford High school was built.  Love is Love Stratford CT is actively addressing this need in our community by providing a healthy and supportive social space for young adults after high school.  It’s necessary and can help our community combat everything from mental health issues to substance abuse issues.  As a person in recovery, I know how resources and healthy, sober spaces for LGBTQIA2S+ young adults battling addiction are difficult to find.  We hope to be a resource and a safe space for families and young people looking for a sober place to socialize within the LGBTQIA2S+ community as well.

• Have there been issues you have encountered in Stratford that prompted you to do the work to get Love Is Love Stratford, CT up and running?

Aside from the issues that helped to get the current group organized, I have met young adults who are questioning their gender or who identify as non-binary or trans-gender.  These young people are sometimes even afraid to participate in high school GSAs.  Many have chosen to wait until after high school to transition. 

In addition, many older adults are crumbling under the crushing weight of the stigma and discrimination that accompanies being trans or non-binary in our society today.  Love is Love Stratford CT has become a safe haven for many of these adults and young people.  I understand where they are coming from, and I lead this organization with that empathy.  When I was young we didn’t have the words to fully describe what I was feeling, but today is different, and young people have these words.  I want to give them a safe space to express who they are in a supportive and healthy environment that respects them as a person and treats them with the dignity every human being deserves.

Editor’s Note:  Love is Love Stratford has collaborated with five Below for a fundraising event.  The form to print out to present while shopping is below.